Harry Potter had never known what love – or any type of affection, for that matter – was until he entered Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had been mostly isolated from both worlds, muggle and magic, but especially magic, so he didn’t know much about the customs of the Wizarding world.
Imagine his surprise when he realized what a Harem was.
“I know, Harry. It’s very overwhelming, isn’t it? I’ve been up all night thinking about it.”
“Harry, are you listening to me?”
Hermione groaned; she really shouldn’t have told him anything. Before they went to their Transfiguration class, Hermione told Harry about her conversation with Daphne and Hannah. Apparently, she had made a mistake. Sometimes, she hated being nice and considerate, but she knew that if anyone deserved this privilege, it would be the Boy-Who-Lived.
Her groan seemed to have woken Harry from his trance. “Hermione, that was not a ‘yippee’ moment! I’m bloody scared!”
“Why are you scared,” Hermione asked, confused. She had realized that this might be one of his reactions, but she thought it would be leaning towards excitement.
“It’s… er… Hermione, what if I’m not… up to their expectations?”
She gave him a confused look before her eyes widened. “Is this really a conversation that you should have with your girlfriend this early into the relationship, Harry?” She asked incredulously (and a little bit nervously).
“We could continue talking about a Harem,” Harry said sarcastically, and immediately regretted it when said girlfriend looked down in shame. “I’m sorry, Hermione… you must hate me now… “
“I could never hate you, Harry,” Hermione assured him, “it’s just that a girl gets a little irked when she has to let her boyfriend decide on having all the beautiful girls in the school.”
Harry scratched his chin, which Hermione realized is growing cute stubble. “Then why don’t you choose?”
“I can’t choose!” Hermione yelled, as if she had just been insulted. “You’ll hate my answer!”
“Your answer usually turns out to be the right one,” Harry said with a shrug.
“Just like the Firebolt?” Hermione asked with eyes that were slowly turning shiny and wet with unshed tears.
Harry put an arm over her shoulders and hugged her close to him. “I’m sorry about that. I know it’s a little bit too late… but I’m sorry.”
“Harry, I’m the one that should be sorry. But we can talk about it later,” Hermione said when she realized Harry was about to retort. “You need to make a decision, Harry.”
Harry immediately answered, “While it was fun to think about, and it would be any man’s dream, I’m gonna have to turn that offer down.”
Even Hermione was shocked. Did Harry just give up what she thought he gave up? “Harry… what did you just say?”
“I said no.”
“You do understand that this isn’t a prank, right? Fred, George, or Malfoy has nothing to do with this.”
“I realize that,” Harry explained. “But something’s telling me not to.”
“What do you mean?” Hermione inquired.
“It’s… I don’t know… some voice in my head… “
“Is it your conscience? Or is it… you know… “
“Voldemort?” Hermione nodded. “No… it’s not him… I would recognize his voice… But you’re dating the Boy-Who-Lived and you’re still saying ‘You-Know-Who’?”
Hermione blushed in embarrassment. She’s been doing that a lot lately. “Sorry. It’s just so hard to say it.”
“Aren’t you a Muggle-born, Hermione?” Harry asked with a smile.
“You know I’m a Muggle-born, Harry,” Hermione replied with a glare.
“You first heard of Voldemort when you were eleven. You didn’t know him until you got your letter and you started calling him ‘You-Know-Who’.”
Realization dawned on Hermione on what Harry was trying to say. “Oh. But they never said his name in the books. And all the things that he’s done so far when he’s supposed to be dead—”
“Then you’ll fear him even more,” Harry retorted, still smiling. “Let’s think about it on our way to McGonagall,” Harry held out his hand and she took it unconsciously, in deep thought once again. They continued down the hallway, unaware of the blue narrowed eyes that were watching for a few seconds.
“Yes, Mr. Potter?” The Professor peered over her glasses at Harry, and a few steps behind, her favorite student, Hermione. She would never admit it to herself, but she thought of Harry to be one of her favorite students.
“Professor,” Harry mumbled nervously, “could you please help me with something I need to do for the second task?”
The professor narrowed her eyes slightly, and for a moment, he thought he saw the slivered iris of a cat. “What do you mean, Mr. Potter?”
“I’m not asking for any hints or anything… I just wanted to ask you if you could transfigure a small tank for me.”
After Hermione explained what they had figured out so far, Professor McGonagall was a little surprised and proud at the same time. She would not know the second task until after the Yule Ball so she was surprised that it consisted of Mermaids. She silently hoped that they would not require fighting them, (or worse, grindylows) for an egg or something as ridiculous. She was proud that Harry and Hermione had figured it out by themselves. She nodded to them with a small smile that they had never seen before.
“If you can find a place where I can transfigure a tank, then I will transfigure one for you,” she promised him. They thanked her profusely and left the class to celebrate their free period.
While they were walking down the hallway, they ran into Hannah. “Hey, Hermione. Hi, Harry,” She said as they slowed their pace to talk with her.
“Hi, Hannah,” Hermione said, a little nervously. Harry reached out his hand to take hers and squeezed it gently. Hermione smiled a little at his silent encouragement. “Hannah, listen… “
Hannah interrupted. “Have you seen Ginny? I’ve been looking for her everywhere!” While she was saying this, she shook her head imperceptibly. Hermione, and a few seconds later, Harry, understood.
“I haven’t seen her, either,” Hermione said, playing along. In actuality, though, she hadn’t seen Ginny since the night she and Harry told Ron that they had gotten together. Ginny had been avoiding her so much, that Hermione wondered if she would ever see her again. Ron, too, for that matter.
“Why don’t we look for her with you?” Harry suggested with a small grin.
Hannah nodded and walked ahead, the pair following closely behind. When they reached one of the many deserted corridors of the castle, she stopped and turned to them. “The walls have ears. And the portraits. These are sleeping, though.” She pointed towards the snoozing portraits. “I’m guessing Hermione told you already,” Hannah said to Harry.
Harry nodded, a blush emerging. “Yeah… she… she told me… “
“You’re nervous,” Hannah said, more to herself. “Are you nervous?” She asked out loud to him. “I mean, if you are, I would understand. Our original plan was to talk to you after graduation… or until hormones fully kick in and you start flirting with girls.”
Harry smiled nervously at her. “I’m… a little nervous…”
“He’s very nervous,” Hermione said with a grin. “He said ‘no’ earlier, but I think that was for my benefit.” Her grin faded. “Can I at least have him to myself for three more years?”
“I didn’t agree!” Harry complained, his awkwardness forgotten.
“But you didn’t mean it when you disagreed,” Hermione retorted.
“Do you want me to say it again?” Harry asked her with raised eyebrows.
Hermione stared straight back, and after a few seconds of a staring match, she softened. “Harry, I just want to make you happy… “
“So do I,” Harry said with a small smile. “So unless you admit to yourself that you wouldn’t mind me kissing another girl, I’m not accepting.”
“Okay.” Hermione took a deep breath to say the most difficult thing she ever said in her life (even more difficult than that long word from that Disney Movie she watched one time). “I am—”
“No, Hermione,” Harry said with a grin. “With Veritaserum.”
Hermione almost fainted in shock. “Come again, Harry?”
“You have to use Veritaserum. Otherwise, it could be a lie.”
“I-I can’t use that!” Hermione stuttered.
“Then I can’t say yes,” Harry said with a sigh.
Hannah looked back and forth with a small frown. “You’re scared, too,” she said to Harry, continuing from her earlier statement.
Harry turned to her with a curious expression, so she explained further. “Hermione is the only one you ever trusted in your life completely. You only give little trust to Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys, and your roommates. But with Hermione, you completely let your guard down, because she’s the only one that makes you feel safe. She’s the only one that can have your heart. You… you… ” Hannah whispered out words that Harry couldn’t hear.
“What?” Harry asked her, wondering what she was going to say next.
Hannah shook her head and turned to Hermione, who also didn’t hear. “I really wish that I was in your place right now.”
Hermione smiled at her. “Don’t worry; one of these days, I’ll screw up.”
Harry turned to Hermione. “Firstly, you’ll never screw up and I’ll always want you,” then he turned to Hannah, missing Hermione’s glowing smile. “And could you tell me why I have a Harem in the first place?” Harry had an idea why, but he didn’t want to voice his reason. He wanted to hear it, first. It would be much easier to turn them down completely.
Hannah blushed under his gaze, but said, “Well, it was originally because you’re famous. You’re the most famous wizard in the world. And the accomplishments that you made so far means that you are real unlike some people.” It was obvious to Harry and Hermione who she was referring to. May the lilac-loving pansy rest forever in St. Mungo’s, he figured.
“Second, you’re cute. You have untamable hair, gorgeous green eyes, adorably silly glasses, and you’re a complete gentleman.” By the time she was finished, Harry had his head down in embarrassment while Hannah was blushing crimson.
While Hannah continued talking about why the harem was founded, another meeting was taking place.
“Albus, I need a word.”
“Yes, Minerva?” the Headmaster said warily.
“What is the second task?”
“I am not allowed to tell you, for the information might leak to Mr. Potter.”
“What about Mr. Diggory?”
“There is a likely chance that he already knows.”
“Have you told him?”
“No, I have not.”
“Do you know what the task is?”
“Yes, I have figured out what the task is.”
“And why have you not told Mr. Potter?”
“Because it would give him an unfair advantage over his fellow competitors.”
“Albus, did you happen to notice that the competitors are three years older than Mr. Potter?”
“Yes, Minerva, I may be old, but I do have glasses.”
“And you do not see the unfair advantage on Harry?”
“Isn’t Alastor helping him?”
“Isn’t Igor helping Mr. Krum?”
“Isn’t Madam Maxine helping Ms. Delacour?”
“Yes, she is.”
“So they have equal sources of information. Let us forget for the moment that Alastor is only a professor, while the other mentors are both Headmasters. Where do you fit in this equation, Headmaster?”
“I am not involved at all.”
“And you still choose not to help someone who is three years younger than his competitors, and who has been wrongly placed in the tournament that was cancelled previously because of the death rate?”
“Well… if you want to say it in that form… “
“Harry already knows the task. He has just figured it out.”
“Then why are you asking me all of these questions?”
“Because I wanted answers, Albus. You are helping Harry with anything that he needs help with. Harry is only a child. He has been maturing lately, likely from spending more time around Ms. Granger and less time around Mr. Weasley, but he is still a mere child.”
“I cannot. He already has Alastor as his trainer.”
“And he is not doing a good job, if Harry is just now finding out. Train Mr. Potter or I will. He needs to be prepared for the second and third tasks. If something happens to Mr. Potter that is permanent, you will have my resignation the next minute.”
“… Very well… Minerva.”
“Sighing too much can cause hearing problems, Albus.”
“That is why I have lemon drops, Minerva. It is more effective than gum.”
“I have something to buy you for Christmas, then.”
“I would appreciate the thought. Anything else?”
“You did not answer my question earlier.”
“Did you just sigh again?”
“If you would like, I will inform Alastor that I will be tutoring young Harry… unless you want to.”
“How long have I known you, Albus?”
“Since I was a teacher at Hogwarts, Minerva.”
“And you don’t think I know when you are trying to avoid something?”
“I… well… “
I will help Harry in his tasks and anything else he may need help with, but I will need to be updated on what you know about the task… starting now.”
“… Very well.”
While the Headmaster explained to the assistant everything he knew of the second task (while withstanding McGonagall’s orders to stop sighing), yet another conversation was taking place.
“So you don’t have anything?”
“No, Ron. It’s only been a week. What makes you think I would’ve thought of a plan by now?”
“I thought you wanted Harry!”
“And I thought you wanted Hermione! Either you help me think of something, or we go to plan B and you go down to Hogsmeade and buy a lot of butterbeer for when she gets dumped. I’ll just have to get Harry to take me after he dumps her. I’m in no rush. You, on the other hand, are desperate. Now think of something!”
“Well… … … … what about a love potion?”
“It’s a sixth-year potion. I wouldn’t learn it in time and you suck at making potions.”
“If we beg enough, do you think mum could bring us some?”
“… No… I don’t think so. It takes time to brew it. She told me so before I went to Hogwarts when she used it on dad.”
“What about Snape? He hates Harry and Hermione. I’m sure he has some.”
“Firstly, If Snape had a love potion, he wouldn’t be a grumpy git all the time. Secondly, I don’t know about you, but I do not want him to have permanent blackmail over me for the rest of my life. Love potion is illegal, and you know he’s gonna hold this over our heads. The sick bastard might turn me into his sex slave.”
“Oi, I don’t want to hear it!”
“Keep your bloody voice down! Myrtle could hear you.”
“Oh, forgot about her. So, what else can you think of?”
“Well, I could always try seduction.”
“Worth a shot, but I don’t think it’s gonna work.”
“You haven’t seen how good I work.”
“And I don’t want to know.”
“What was that?”
“Hermione will hex you. That’s why I said it’s not gonna work.”
“Hermione is the smartest witch, she’s not the best.”
“You’re right; she’s the second-best. Harry’s the best dueler around. And once Hermione tells him what you’re doing, there’ll be real bats chasing you, and not bogies.”
“They’re not that heartless.”
“They both stopped talking to me and Hermione’s not doing my homework anymore.”
“That is pretty heartless, just because you don’t like their… relationship.”
“It gets easier to say.”
“Any other ideas?”
“Not that I can think of.”
“He he he… “
“What was that?”
“Myrtle’s back. Let’s go, Gin.”
Believe it or not, another conversation has taken place.
“Did everything go as planned, Sister Daphne?”
“Yes, Sister Spinett. Both Patil twins have joined and this Loony blonde is under consideration. We have a rather hyper second-year who somehow figured out about us and wants to join. We told her that she has to wait ’til she develops, but she isn’t taking no for an answer. I’m no sure, but I think her name is Miranda. Sister Susan is dealing with her now. We have attempted to get Lavender to join us, but she has a bad habit of gossiping.”
“We could use a tongue-tying curse on her.”
“With all due respect, Sister, the tongue-tying curse is a complicated one to perform.”
“I will owl one of our graduated sisters to come in and place the curse on her. I believe Sister Nympho Dora might do the job nicely. Any more news?”
“Well, there is the matter of Harry Potter’s date for the Yule Ball.”
“Are you declining the offer? I’m next in line, you know.”
“I never had the offer.”
“What do you mean, and please do speak up.”
“Harry already has a date to the Ball.”
“There was no one else authorized to go the Ball with him unless he asked! Who is it?”
“Please speak up so I can address this problem.”
“Harry asked Hermione Granger to the Ball, Sister.”
“Yes, he did. I confirmed it. There is also one other problem.”
“Just give me a second… … … … … okay.”
“Harry Potter knows about us.”
At that moment, the conversation could not continue, as there was only one person conscious, and Daphne really didn’t feel like having a monologue.
Now, back to the original conversation…
“So, I’m offered a harem because of all that?”
Hannah nodded. “Basically. I could name a few more, but we don’t have much time.”
Hermione nodded, looking very pale. “Yes… we should go… Harry, time to go.”
“OK,” Harry said dully. At the beginning of the conversation, Harry was more than ready to reject the Harem. Now… after all the reasons and explanations that she had given him, the only reason that kept him from doing the Happy Harry Potter Party dance was Hermione. He knew that whatever they said, he wouldn’t accept them unless Hermione did (which he fiercely doubted).
“Could you at least think about our offer?” Hannah asked, but the question was directed towards Hermione this time. Hermione now started to look uncomfortable. She was raised around morals and fairy tales. She was raised with the idea of a man and a woman being together. She had never thought much about anything else. She had once read about a harem at her local library back home, but that book was in the fiction section, so she didn’t pay much attention to it.
“I will,” she grudgingly promised. Then she remembered something and went into the books that were in her arm.
“What are you getting?” Harry asked his girlfriend.
Hermione said nothing, but handed him a sheet of muggle paper, which immediately caught Harry’s attention. Harry skimmed through the paper.
Questions for (Master) Harry James Potter:
1) What are your measurements for your robes?
4) Underwear? Boxers, Briefs, or Questionable?
6) How often do you shave, and which would you prefer: clean, stubble, trim, bush, or all?
8) What type of hair gel do you use (If any)?
12) Please give us a summary of your home-life.
13) Do you have any questions about the Wizarding World?
17) Have you figured out the second task, and if so, can we help you?
19) We would like to think that these last two questions are the most important – Would you describe yourself more as a mandrake (mean, short in many ways, and obnoxious) or a hippogriph (good-mannered, sometimes known as wild, can sometimes be demanding, Can be ridden all day, and … well, you should know the muggle term, like a horse)? There is no in-between.
20) Have you always fantasized about a bunch of girls making your life easier?
Please answer these questions, and they will be your command.
Harry was floored by these questions. He was sweating harder than Hermione before she takes End-of-Year exams. He found that to be quite a feat.
Hermione was looking over Harry’s shoulder at the list, because she did not want to read it until Harry did. Some of these questions, Hermione couldn’t help but be curious.
“There is another question that should be on that paper,” Hermione commented with humor edging in her voice.
“If you’re thinking about the obvious question, there are potions and spells for that,” Hannah explained, only embarrassing Harry further. What she said next almost made Harry wish he would be in class, but his status as a male kept him rooted to the spot. “Although it wouldn’t hurt to know a number… “
“Yes, he was talking about that earlier,” Hermione said. Once again, curiosity overrides all, and she was very curious of Harry’s doubts.
“I… umm… “
“All we need is a number,” Hannah probed.
“And if you don’t know, I’m sure Hannah would like to assist in measuring.” When Hannah gave an affirmative nod, Harry couldn’t take it. He whispered something in Hermione’s ear. It was quite comical when her eyes widened slowly. Hermione could not understand what Harry meant by not up to their standards. She had to ask him, just to make sure. “Centimeters?” She asked cautiously?
Harry shook his head, a confused look on his face. “It was inches… not that I measured or anything,” he said quickly, “just a guess.”
“Hannah, I think you have to inspect him,” Hermione said, stuck in a daze.
“Not that I’m complaining, but aren’t you the girlfriend? What did he say?”
Hermione walked over and whispered in her ear. Hannah suddenly felt woozy. And very excited. “I think I’m going to have to confirm that,” Hannah said, as if in a trance.
“Hannah, I was only kidding!” Hannah’s suggestion shocked Hermione out of her daze.
“Could you say it again and mean it?” She asked with a puppy-dog pout, that if Harry had seen, he would’ve killed himself before Hermione could. Instead, he was looking down, ashamed.
Hermione looked at him to catch his reaction. When she saw him, she slapped him on the shoulder lightly. “Harry, you have nothing to be ashamed about!”
“I… don’t?” Harry asked dumbly, looking up to her face.
“In fact, you have something to brag about,” Hannah said. “I can’t wait to tell the rest this discovery!”
“Wait a minute… so I’m not small?”
“Harry, how could you ever think that? At your age, average is five through seven.”
“I must go now. Daphne wanted to talk to me about something.”
“Just don’t miss class,” Hermione old her as she grabbed Harry by the hand.
“Believe it or not, it’s an actual meeting. We have to update Sister Spinett on everything that’s happened so far. She’s probably already started. Besides, I have a free period.”
“How many Gryffindor girls are in this harem, Hannah?” She asked with a heavy sigh.
Hannah didn’t answer immediately. Hermione knew she wouldn’t like this number. She was right. “About seven or eight are still in Hogwarts. There have been more recruits lately. I think Daphne’s doing it.”
“Who are the Gryffindors?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you.”
“We weren’t supposed to even tell you, especially Harry! We were only supposed to tell you right before or after Graduation. Daphne only told you because she got mad about the rumors that you two are dating and she was going to ask you to the Ball!” She had turned to Harry. “If they find out that you know, I think they are probably going to obliviate you.”
“What?” they both asked, alarmed.
“Although I’m sure they won’t do that now. Since it has been confirmed that you two are dating, we don’t have to. We figured that we had to wait until Harry becomes a randy, hormone-powered teenager. A girlfriend is a start. I wish we thought of that earlier. The only reason we had bided our time was because when Harry finally started dating a girl, she would most likely be a member of our Harem.”
“So, what if I’m not a sex-starved teenager?” Harry asked curiously.
“We wait,” Hannah said simply. “All I’m saying is that you have until Seventh Year to decide. Then we really must be getting on with our lives; you know, dating and such. And we won’t disband until we get an answer from you after Graduation. Any other rejection would be void. However, if you need practice for Hermione when it becomes the ‘right time’, or if Hermione is extremely tired from your manliness and you could go another round, feel free to reach me… and the other girls, I guess. We have a motto. ‘All serve one, one for all, all for life.’ They are members for life until Harry dismisses them, then they become honorary graduates.
“Harry, you should at least consider it. I don’t see you getting awards for what you do every year, constantly saving lives. You get slander from the Daily Prophet. I wouldn’t exactly think of that as an Order of Merlin. You don’t think you deserve more? Any guy would be jumping at this opportunity. You’re different. You wouldn’t abuse any of us. You wouldn’t make us do anything we wouldn’t want to do (although I can assure you, we would want to do it). You wouldn’t think of us as your slaves. You’d think of us as girlfriends, each and every one of us, although Hermione would always remain the leader.
“Once again, we will not take no for an answer until three-and-a-half years from now. Opinions and views can change by then. I’ll be seeing you guys around, and tell absolutely no one about us unless they can be completely trusted.” And with that, she walked out of the deserted corridor and into the hallway.
They were staring at the spot she had just vacated for over a minute, digesting the information that had just been force onto them. Of course, Hermione spoke first.
“I think you should really consider it.”
“Because you’re doing it anyway, even though you want me to be happy. Harry, I want you to be one hundred percent happy.”
“But I’m already happy, Hermione. I’ve got you.”
“Oh, Harry. I… I think I love you.”
“Well… I think I love you too.”
Since it was obvious that they had a slow, deep kiss turned into heated snogging session next, we will skip to another conversation.
“Ten points to Slytherin, Draco.”
“For greeting a teacher properly. Ten points to Slytherin for your curiosity.”
“Thank you, Professor.”
“Ten points to Slytherin for thanking a professor, Draco.”
“Are you going to keep awarding points to me?”
“No… but thirty points to Slytherin for trying. It never hurts to ask.”